RULE 1: You’re a social climber, not a stalker.
Wag maghabol ng celebrity. If you bump into one, wag magpapapicture na parang faney na faney. Dapat parang friends lang tapos tag mo siya sa Facebook pag ginawa mong profile pic with hashtag #friendsforever.
RULE 2: Give respect to brands.
Even if it has nothing to do with the conversation, don’t fail to mention the branded thing that you are actually wearing..
Friend: Uy, anong oras na?
Social Climber: According to my Rolex, it’s 7:30 na.
RULE 3: As tempting as it seems, do not use more than one brand in a sentence.
You can use it as a verb, adverb and adjective, but only once!
RULE 4: A social climber must always be postura.
Postura 365 days a year, Christmas New Year, Holy Week, Halloween, Ninoy Aquino Day, Labor Day, Araw ng Kagitingan, Linggo ng Wika…
If it cannot be avoided, you must always have a handy palusot.
RULE 5: Don’t miss an opportunity to show just how much more worldy or sophisticated you are.
RULE 6: Don’t be caught wearing the same outfit!
Kaya kapag bumili ng longsleeves, gupitin mo nang paunti-unti hanggang maging 3/4 sleeves, cap sleeves, sleeveless, halter, racerback hanggang maging cropped top!
RULE 7: A social climber tries harder.
If you must take a selfie in bed, make sure your “fresh out of bed” photo does not actually look like you just got out of bed.
Wag kalimutan ang dalawang coating ng foundation, mascara at lipstick.
RULE 8: Don’t let them know the real you.
Wag na wag mag-uuwi ng leftovers sa resto. Kahit hinayang na hinayang ka dahil ang mahal… dahil kapiraso lang talaga ang kinain mo dahil ayaw mo magmukhang gutom… You chose to be a social climber. Panindigan.
RULE 9: You’re allergic to fake.
Nababahing ka sa imitation na pabango.
Nangangati ang skin mo sa fancy jewelry.
Nagkakarashes ka sa hindi leather.
Always remember you only patronize original, authentic and genuine products… except yourself.
RULE 10: Don’t forget the golden rule… NAME DROP.
Look for connections… Kahit na sobrang layo.
Friend: Grabe, ang ganda ni Tessa Prieto noh?
Social Climber: Ah si Tita Tessa?
Friend: Tita mo si Tessa Prieto?
Social Climber: You know my Tita Menchie? Yung kasama ni Mommy sa zumba? Tita Menchie has a daughter, our age lang din. Nakakasama ng daughter niya si Tita Tessa sa yoga.