Little Girls and “Boyfriends”

When Addie was 2 years old, ang favorite niyang toys ay dinosaurs, cars, robots, etc. Her favorite cartoon characters were Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Miles from Tomorrowland. Mejo boyish si Addie pero we noticed also na at a very young age, she has this “attraction” to boys.

Recently, she discovered the concept of princes and princesses… and boyfriends and girlfriends.

Addie: Mommy, are you and daddy, boyfriend and girlfriend?
Me: Yes, but we’re married already.
Addie: What’s married? Like a wedding? Like in your picture?
Me: Yes, the one in the picture.
Addie: When can I have a boyfriend?

Nahulog ako sa upuan. Gusto ko magwala, pero pinigilan ko…

Me: When you’re as big as Mommy already. Since you’re still a baby, your boy classmates or friends are like your brothers.
Addie: Okay, Mommy.

Tumingin sa malayo si Addie na tila may malalim na iniisip.

Addie: Mommy, can I kiss my brothers on the lips?

Jeskelerd!!! Puwede bang ibalik nalang sa dati? Yung boyish siya?

Mejo nag-panic ang lola niyo. 4 years old lang si Addie teh! Times like these, I need a juicy. And where can else can I get help but from the experts themselves, my mommy friends…. and google haha! This is what I learned…

1. Keep the innocence

It’s normal for kids to be curious and mimic adults. Even if they don’t watch TV shows that depict adult relationships, part of growing up is imitating what they see. Malamang Addie saw me and Papa O kiss. So, should we stop doing that in front of her? No. As grown-ups, we tend to see things in our perspective, but kids do things innocently. It is our adult reaction and response which can take a kid’s innocence away and put more into their minds.

2. Listen and acknowledge

When your child starts to ask about relationships, listen to them and talk about it. Ang tendency kasi natin is to change the topic, or sabihan yung bata na “masyado ka pang bata” and stop discussing the subject. But listening and talking to your child this early about adult relationships makes them feel comfortable to tell you these things and ask for your advice. It’s an opportunity for parents to create an open relationship.

3. Teach

Once you have that “openness”, set your family morals and teach them appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Constantly talk and listen to your child. Your child may look at things innocently now but soon, she will start to see things like a grown-up. So it’s better if you’re there to guide her and reinforce your family morals.

With those in mind, kinakabahan pa ba ako? Actually, oo. Gagawin ko naman lahat yan pero…

San ko ba pwede itago ang anak ko hanggang mag-trenta siya?  😛 

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