Ate, He’s Not That Into You

(Inspired by the concept of the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” by Greg Behrendt, and by some true to life events)

Photo from rightthevision.wordpress.com

Hindi ako relationship expert. Some people who know me can even say I may suck at it. But one thing I did get from making mistakes are the lessons.

Based on what I’ve personally experienced and from what I’ve seen some of my friends go through, here are some thoughts that might help you ladies in finding out if a guy is actually really into you or not:

1. If he takes 10 million years to text or call you back, dhay, isip isip na…

Una sa lahat, when you meet a guy and you’re wondering kung trip ka nya, girl… hindi yan mag iintay ng bente kwatro oras bago ka i-contact. Maniwala ka. That whole 3-day rule thing that you may hear or see in the movies is BS in my book. I’ve had someone text me an hour after I’ve left a party, and I’ve had someone text me like 2 weeks later with “Hey, what’s up?” Kahit gaano pa ka cute yun isa, if you’re looking for a serious one, this aint it and just move along. Ngayon naman kung gusto mo na laro laro lang, go for it and have fun.

Walang “busy” sa lalaking gustong gusto ka. Remember that. Kung hindi man yan makasagot ng phone agad or maka text immediately, mag eexplain yan the moment he gets time. Minsan kahit nasa meeting mag tetext yan para at least sabihin sayo na he will call u back when his meeting is over— and he does. “Busy” is BS too.

2. He just wants to be with you all the time. 

A good guy friend of mine, who dates quite a number of girls was confiding in me one night. He says he believes there’s a girl out there somewhere who can completely take over his world, who can just hold his attention while the whole world falls apart around them and he would want to be with that girl all the time.

Medyo cheesy, I know, but hearing it from a guy who I’ve seen date around is quite an eye opener. So ibig sabihin may lalaki din dyan na ikaw lang ang palaging gusto makasama. Hindi yun palaging may excuse na hindi kayo pwede magkita or busy sya. Gagawa ng paraan ang lalaki makita ka lang kahit for 5 minutes.

Kung kaya mo malaman ang location nya through your awesome Facebooking skills, he can do the same. So kung gusto ka nya mahanap, hahanapin ka nyan at itatry ka macontact.

3. He plans to do things with you — and follows through.

If he makes plans with you, for the short term and long term, that’s already a plus. And when he follows through, that doesn’t only show he is a gentleman, but also his level of commitment to you.

Whether it’s dinner, movie, a trip or going to the grocery to help you pick up supplies, if he says he’s going to do it, he should do it. If he flakes out regularly and on the last minute that’s a big danger sign. Ibig sabihin hija, hindi ka nyan nirerespeto…so drop him, coz it’s obvious he has no problems dropping you.

4. PDA

Depende talaga ito minsan sa tao. Minsan may mga guys na talagang shy lang. Not all girls din are into it.

BUT, when you are in public he should want to make sure everyone, as in the madlang people, know that he is with you. It could be holding your hand, an arm lightly around your waist or over your shoulders.

Ewan ko kung counted pala ‘to as PDA, pero yun kayang tignan ka sa mata na walang pagaatubili, anytime, anywhere… that is a definite sign that he is interested in you (and not particular body parts only)

5. May selos ng konti.

Wag naman OA, but a little jealousy on his part can be healthy. It means he wants you for himself. Just make sure he’s not the type to emotionally abuse you about it or get into fights. That’s just ugly.

6. Pag clarong sinabi nya na di sya seryoso.

Darling… naman… wag mo na i-hope na kaya mong mabago pag-iisip nyan. Sinabi na sayo eh. Wag ka na mag pantasya. If you can hack it na casual lang kayo, gora lang and more power. Pero kung ang hanap mo eh pang seryosohan na, I seriously suggest to just move along.

Another way that a guy may say this without really saying it is when he actually encourages you to date other people. I mean…hallerrr??!!! Really? Kung yun ang suggestion nya, take his advice and move on.

7. He doesn’t bring you to important events.

Family dinners, friends’ birthday celebrations … kung hindi ka sinasama, it could mean he doesn’t feel you are important enough to be counted with the important people in his life.

8. Hindi sya magpapatumpiktumpik.

Torpe? I don’t think so. A gentleman will tell you he likes you, and will tell you if he wants to take things slow. He will encourage you, NOT pressure you to let him know how you feel.

If he can’t be clear that he likes you, think twice, baby. First, do you really want to be someone who is basically spineless? Second, consider also that men in general will do everything in their power to avoid telling you that they don’t like you straight out. Magpapaka-asshole na lang sya kesa sabihin sayo ng diretsuhan.

You know that quote from “When Harry Met Sally”? It goes: “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of the life to start as soon as possible.”

 

Just remember, don’t settle. You deserve the man who can treat you right and thinks the world of you. A guy can miss you, be totally in-love with you, but if he doesn’t give you what you deserve and doesn’t make you feel secure and happy, then he’s really not that into you, dahil ang lalaking gustong gusto ka, hahamakin ang lahat to make sure you are happy, be with you every second, and build a life with you.