photo from media.salon.com
I am not sure if this is still relevant, but there was a lot of chatter the last few days about this blogpost
link here – http://thoughtcatalog.com/
about realizing that she should not have waited until marriage to have sexual intercourse. I may have written about this topic (i.e. waiting to have sex) once or twice before when we were still hot on the topic of the RH Bill — but all on my personal FB status.
So let me break this down for you.
I went to an exclusive all-girls school on top of a mountain for about 11 years. I had a “serious” relationship with the 1st boy I ever loved beginning freshman year in high school, which was about when I was 14 years old.
And I waited 5 years before I decided I could handle all the possible consequences of having sex which were: heightened emotional needs, possible pregnancy and increased tolerance for the pains of childbirth. Yep, you got it right folks: I lost my virginity when I was 19 years old. For those who know me, yes, this is the dire truth.
I hope that this does not come out across as me trivializing losing one’s virginity when I write about how I lost mine. I only wish to demonstrate how one can truly be at peace with deciding to engage in sex before they are married.
The whole point is that you should realize that it is YOUR body… and no one in this world can make a decision on what to do with it. I have never been married so I cannot say I have enough experience to say which is better and which is not.
Growing up in a Catholic school also had a big influence of course! And I had a more or less Catholic upbringing. But you would be surprised I think. I didn’t believe that fire and brimstone was going to hail down from the heavens when I finally did it. In fact my school, way up in the mountains of Antipolo, had a decent reproductive health program for high school students. I have always been proud of that. And that actually helped me wait. When I paid attention, I realized that I wasn’t ready to have that intimate a relationship that young.
I think the most important thing was that when I finally did decide to do it, it was with someone I had known for years, someone I trusted, and someone I really did love. There were no fireworks. There was no light from heaven. It was definitely fun though. He turned out not to be the love of my life. He actually turned out to be a lying, cheating douche, but I have no regrets. Really. Because when I decided to have sex with him, I felt comfortable.
Whether you wait, or not just remember you do have the choice when, how, where and with whom…and of course the why is totally your thing. What everyone just has to keep in mind I think is that you are not free from the effects, repercussions and responsibilities that go along with your choice.
“MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.”